Life After Multiple Sclerosis ~ An Ms Patient Goes Public!
About the author, MS, and Why FSBO (in his own words):
I retired from real estate in SW Washington, but only when I could no longer walk. Over three years previous, the doctors had said I needed to Get rid of stress and stop working. In denial, I was slow to accept Multiple Sclerosis. Who, after all, would embrace a diagnosis of the dread disease of no known cause, and for which there was no cure? I continued to operate my own real estate company, increasing the number of experienced agents who required less hands-on supervision.
Putting renters in my house, I moved closer to my office, using a handicapped scooter to get back and forth on those days when I didnt have appointments set up to or homes. I refused to give up driving because one leg still worked, most of the time.
In hidden panic, I began to make more hasty decisions. On a week that required my personal intervention on behalf of two of my agents real estate transactions, I decided to sell my company. For a coffee cup, I traded my principle share of the real estate corporation to my new partner (another hasty decision), just to get out. I had no problem obtaining an Associate Broker position with one of the major corporations.
When it became apparent, even to me, that I could no longer provide the level of service I expected my clients to have, I took the Social Security Disability option. Gritting my teeth, while the mandatory waiting period ticked away, I tried to decide what to do with the remaining years of my life. Although I had once owned art stores, even taught oil painting, always the optimist, even I could not paint a portrait of future prosperity. I think they had a special on despair at the time, and I considered trading in my depression on it. At 53 years of age, with a pre-teen daughter yet to raise, and an ex-wife who couldnt work, life looked pretty bleak.
A good friend suggested that I write a book. As I had published two poetry books twenty-five years before, I considered the possibility. In an attempt to overcome personal depression, I decided to write about making better choices. I chose a novel format because it allowed the freedom to develop hypothetical scenarios, involving fictional characters, while forcing awareness of real dangers. I wanted to make a compelling case for right choices, not just in marketing ones home, but in all aspects of life.
Ive made a lot of mistakes. Most of us do. We live in troubled, unpredictable times. People must contend with changing economic issues, employment disruptions, family problems, health upsets, crime, and consequences. Through awareness, we can perhaps gain clarity when, standing flat-footed over home plate, the curve ball comes while we were expecting a fast pitch.
For Sale By Owners: FSBO www.FSBONovel.com is a novel about people. Not perfect people. It begs the question, What would For Sale By Owners do if they knew they were really buying trouble? As former real estate broker, I am qualified to shed some light on this often un-addressed area of concern. Most agents are reluctant to tell people just how dangerous it is to open their doors to strangers.
Understandably, people who must sell homes do not want to pay brokerage fees, if they can avoid it. It is, absolutely their right to sell their homes themselves. But all too often, the man says, We can sell it ourselves, Honey, pops a FOR SALE BY OWNER sign in the yard, and goes off to his work. His wife then places an ad in the local newspaper, answers the phone, and sets appointments for the supposedly interested buyers to come see their home for sale. The danger is minimized.
Ive had client wives tell me they had prayed that no one would call. Then, peeking out the curtains, they had decided not to answer the door. My father once told me, Son, all crooks have honest faces. What dad meant is that you cant tell, by looking at someone, what their real intentions are.
If an effort to be professional, most agents do not wish to alarm or alienate home sellers who might list with them, later. I have no such vested interest.
Even real estate agents recognize they are placing themselves at risk when showing houses. Every year, many are abducted, robbed, murdered, and raped in this country. The National Association Of Realtors constantly warns agents to vigilant, careful whom they work with. Many Realtors will no longer do Open Houses because it is simply too dangerous. The commission reward of marketing a home this manner, to them, is not in proportion to the risk. Yes, I am passionate about the problem. My book doesnt mince words. The serial rapist adds an eerie element, gives a fractured face to one possible perpetrator.
The diverse cast of characters, each with their own perspective, is largely unaware that they even have problems. Each is imperfect. All are preoccupied with their own survival. Maybe, through increased awareness, there is hope for us all.

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This semester, I have a dumb bitch professor.
Let me back up. I have been at this a while, college. I have attended one private college and two SUNY schools and I have had all kinds of instructors. I have had faculty instructors, adjunct instructors, professors, PhD's, you name it. I can appreciate almost every approach to teaching, and I have a great deal of respect for those who feel they can teach in an undergraduate setting, because I sure couldn't.
This semester, my developmental psych professor is just a flat out bitch. She tells us to do the reading and then breaks us into groups to discuss the chapter in class. Never does she lecture or review what we are expected to know. Weekly we are given a comprehension test based on the readings. We take the test once by ourselves, and then once in a group. The tests are EXACTLY the same and the two grades are averaged together. Groupthink is an interesting thing. In the interest of preserving group unity (we have to work in the same groups for the entire semester, and our final project is group-based and is a significant portion of our final grade) I have more than once compromised and allowed the group to choose an incorrect answer. This means that my grade is impacted because I chose to placate my group. She refuses to answer our questions and arbitrarily and unfairly grades our assignments, telling us after the fact that she doesn't accept certain sources or won't allow certain things.

We finally had it out last week, and collectively the class approached her and told her we wanted lectures. She agreed to try two lectures a week but has only actually lectured once. The rest of the time she has shown videos on race relations and alternative birthing practices.
The first few weeks of a developmental psych course (I have actually taken developmental psych before but it wouldn't transfer) is typically spent learning about erikson, piaget, freud, psychosocial development, lifespan perspective, et. cetera. While I acknowledge and appreciate that racial identity is an important part of our development, I also think that perhaps there is a better time (and perhaps place) for us to learn about it.

Several students in the class have a meeting with the department head on friday. We have essentially been told that this instructor has a PhD and has been teaching at ECC for almost two decades, and that what we have to say is nothing new.

I recieved a 65 on the last paper. I was aghast until I discovered that the rest of the class did, also. I went to her office and explained that I must have misunderstood the assignment and asked her if I could possibly re-do it now that it had been clarified and she simply dismissed me. When we got our first papers of the semester back, she allowed several students to re-do their work if they were dissatisfied with their grades, so i'm feeling like perhaps that's a smidge unfair.

I'm not a complainer, but goddamn it i'm paying for this education, and i'm no longer content with mediocrity. I have a 3.75 GPA at ECC and I would like to, at bare minimum, maintain that. If i'm doing the work, I expect the instructors and professors and those educated enough to have earned an even more esteemed title to be doing the work as well.

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We complain about our cameras, our laptops, our internet connections, our computer software, our hours of work, our assignments. We complain about our pay, politicians, press officers, security, traffic, our bosses, our colleagues, our allotted photo positions, and backgrounds in pictures. And we complain about the weather – the stereotype about Brits really is true! Too sunny, too wet, too bright, too dark, too windy, not windy enough…any excuse for a picture that was ALMOST there, but not quite…
However, whilst always somehow feeling relatively new to the job (not sure why, as I ‘officially’ started my career fifteen years ago at the not-so-tender age of 23 in regional newspapers in Bristol in southwest England, certain that I was following the right path after ‘dropping-out’ as a university undergraduate), rarely does a day pass when at some point do I think I am still in the best career in the world.
Where else can you access and shoot the best sporting events in the world? Where else can you get an insight to government machinations and cover the biggest political changes and upheavals in the world, shoot seismic shifts in the environment and similar seismic shifts in the global economic infrastructure? How many other careers allow access into an operating theatre to photograph emergency heart surgery on a child one day and on the next to dealers manically flailing arms on a City trading room floor, whilst also being able to get to go and shoot an athlete pushing human physical limits to the extreme in an Olympic final in Sydney, Athens, Beijing - and maybe a run–down area of the East End of London next?.

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As we proceed further into this document, youll learn the profoundness of these two qualities. Though given as simple steps, do always bear in mind that a lot of emotions are involved, and that tough decisions need to be made. A goal like True Love is not always easy, and sometimes so difficult as to seem impossible. Bear in mind that while living is playing with your own life, True Love is playing with the future of two lives! So, its not an easy ride; but the efforts on True Love are more than worth of the troubles and highly rewarding, when successful.
What should I be ready to take, when I go ahead with the search of True Love?
Be ready to take failure. This means, one should be ready to take rejection, hurt, pain, and still live on for a fresh search. A failure in this attempt has so much pain and agony, only one who has felt it may best describe. But bear in mind that if failure is so painful, so should the efforts at making it work be as strong! So, be ready to take difficulties, and fulfill your responsibilities to make this relationship work. If you are facing difficulties on the path of True Love, then it means it needs more fuel put in, more efforts to go in, more sacrifices to be made - by both the partners.

Are there different types of True Love?
A very good question. Yes! As a part of this research, love is not just between the opposite sex of two human beings. It has much broader definitions and implications. However, the explanation of this is beyond the scope of this document, though the contents and definitions of True Love remain the same.

Is there an example of True Love?
As people say, True Love is unconditional. True Love is loving one another for all the good and the bad of each partner. And it cannot be so weak as to break on the basis of a disagreement or argument. The best example of True Love is mothers love. It is unconditional, it is unbiased, it has seen difficulties, it has taken time to ripen, and it is two sided (who in the right mind doesnt love his/her mother?). A mother is like a tree that gives its children everything from shade to firewood, all the time paying a high cost for the relationship; but does get enough out of the relationship to keep her contented.

I am dying to hear the qualities under capacity to love!
The qualities that sum up to capacity to love are:
Be ready to pay up: The willingness to give something up to gain something. It is still better if one is a giver by nature, without seeking returns.
Be a team player: The willingness to lose individuality to a certain extent, so as to be an excellent team player.
Be strong: The strength to take the truth and the possible consequences. Dont blame your partner and others for the consequences. If sufficient reason says that the relationship will not work, then accept the fact. If you plan to be persistent, then attempt again!
Be lovable: The willingness to adjust oneself to make others comfortable; that is, being considerate. Seek happiness of your partner before anything for yourself. Worry for your partner more than for yourself.
Be trustworthy: Having sufficient self restraint, so as not to run behind the first man/woman that makes your heart beat uncontrollably.
Be ready to learn: At each stage, you learn a new thing about life and love. Update yourself with the new knowledge. It is a plus if you are aggressive to acquire knowledge and wisdom.
Be patient: The thought life is running out and being wacky about getting love in day should go! Dont rush, it never helps.
Be ready to expect the unexpected: Life and love are similar on this one count that they often take us places, leading us to newer and newer discoveries and definitions about ourselves, life, truth, world, nature, love and universe.
The qualities that do NOT come under the capacity to love are:
Physical beauty
Social background, nationality, creed, traditions
Sensuality
These factors do not affect True Love because love is a work of the hearts, which are not dependent on any of these factors.

And, what is the profound meaning of right attitudes?
The attitudes that one must have are:
The way to go: Aim for success, but remember the consequences of failure.
One life, one love: Make the first love work. On the other hand, True Love doesnt end by switching/losing the partner (can you disown your own mother?).
Let it grow and ripen: True Love takes time to grow.
What love is not: Crush, fascination, admiration, infatuation, marriage, friendship, sympathy, etc., are not synonymous to True Love. They often may be the starting points to work on.
Respect your partners past: The attitude to accept partners previous relationships (if any) as a part of his/her life. Those experiences are the ones that made your partner what he/she is today.
Love has no bounds: True Love is not bound or governed by region, religion, culture, color, age or social background. Nevertheless, these factors do affect longevity of the relationship, if not analyzed and understood before hand.
Allow enough breathing space: Understand that enough liberty is to be available to each partner; in spite of the commitments. It is seen that the three major factors for the failure of relationships are:
Too much possessiveness, so as to cut out the freedom in each others life.
Misunderstanding and misconception due to suspicion and insufficient interaction.
Unequal sense of responsibility or intensity of reciprocation. While one partner makes the sacrifices, the other makes no, or minimal, attempt to adjust.
The same is true of True Love as well.
The tests of one love cutting the path of other: The biggest failure point is the weakest link. When one love challenges the other, this becomes the toughest time to make decisions. For instance, if parents love were to challenge your partners love, or vice versa - what would you do? The right attitude would be to take this as a test of love and work on it as a team.
Love is a game of emotions: Know the fact that in war and love, it is the internal factors that cause more damage than the external factors. The thoughts, the emotions, and the memories are bigger factors to be dealt with; than the world getting together to separate the partners.
Clear misconceptions of approaching the partner wrongly: True Love depends on mutual trust and mutual respect, rather than sensuality and the chemistry between the two bodies. True Love is way above carnal or material lust.
Be normal, not pretentious: Seduction and flirting are ways to impress. And the bond so developed is weak. The day the mask falls off, the world around you will collapse. The progress to True Love, on the other hand, must be unpretentious.
A person is not simple to understand: The understanding that every person is complex person due to his/her past experiences. To fall in True Love, each partner has to accept, and adjust to, the others characteristics. A good exercise is to attempt to describe your partner in written words, and then youll know how complex he/she is! Also, each person has a story, so do you. Know each other before you reach the stage of making commitments.
Let the emotions pave the path: Love is not by measuring, but by letting the emotions do some guiding. And when you feel it, it is unwise to hide it.
Count your real assets: Understand that in this world of deception and pretentiousness, your assets (like beauty or wealth) are working both in your favor and against you. A good test of love is to, sometime, try a situation where you are left with your qualities alone (without the assets), and look at the partners response.
Know the foundation on which your love is built: Have the attitude to look for stronger bonding factors between the partners. Qualities of the partner are often the best bet to keep the relationship running; rest all change. For instance, if love is based on admiration, then keeping your partner interested will be stressful.
Have a hold on yourself: Strong self restraint so as not to go to the next person who appears appealing. This will help multifold in being trustworthy, keeping current relationship, and being able to use discretion.
Wait for the right one: This is one of the most difficult thing to do. Indulge, and your chances of proving to the right one will be weaker! It is not sufficient to have the hope of finding the right one; have faith (i.e., blind hope) in that he/she is somewhere; only that he/she may not be looking.
Falling in love head over heals is often not the right path to achieve True Love: When you do not buy a car without testing, when you do not purchase a house without research; how can you trust your life in an unknown partners hands? Being blind in love can give you one of the worst times of your life, when it doesnt materialize. Also, looks deceive, so dont be caught in this trap expecting True Love. Give your life to the most deserving person!
Anything may happen: Love to a larger extent dictates what happens with you and your partner, rather than you deciding your next move. Have your mind ready for eventualities, and have the fight back spirit as a team, against on-coming hurdles.

As the author of this research and document, would you give us some advice?
Heres a list of steps or guidelines to go ahead with True Love. Though they appear straight forward, it is a complex world to follow/fulfill them.
Searching for the right one: Often True Love is not the result of searching, its the result of being alert. Its important not to lose the right one, so be on the watch out at normal get-together parties, or social gatherings. In comparison the chances of finding the right one when both are searching is very rare.
Be difficult to fall in love, and dont let go once you find love: The sooner you understand this, the better it is for the search of the right one.
Question your characteristics of ideal person: Most young persons fumble several times before they realize that its not what they are seeking to be happy. They speak of ideal characteristics in the opposite sex thatd please them, off the top of their mind. Whereas, in reality, they are very happy with a different set of characteristics in the opposite sex. Are you a victim of the same problem? Be realistic about your person when seeking ideal characteristics. The best advice is to seek a person with qualities; qualities that do not fade over time. Beauty, physical attraction, etc., are not the best qualities to go by.
First impression: First impressions are in most cases wrong, but dont let that discourage you from knowing a persons true attributes. One must absolutely make the first step in order to work for the goal, and thats what you should think you are doing. Lose the right moment, and youll have your life to repent for!
Your heart gives the signal: Do you feel something for someone.

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